cousins.

Last week, one of Candace’s cousins passed away in a car accident. It was tragic to say the least. This isn’t really the point of the post. As I was sitting in the hospital, the church, and Candace’s aunt’s house, I thought about extended families.

There I was surrounded by this girl’s aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, first cousins once removed. Candace’s family is quite close. My family – not so much. I had a hard time putting myself in Candace’s place. If any of my cousins passed away, I’m not even sure if I’d go to the funeral. Maybe a few, but we’d have to see. I had an easier time putting myself in her uncle’s shoes or her friends’ shoes or her brother’s shoes. If I lost any of my friends, nieces, nephews, or siblings, I’d be devestated. Cousins? not so much. I just never had an opportunity to be close to them.

So after the funeral today, we were leaving the church to go to the cemetery and the parking lot was a mess. Since we were family, we got to leave a bit early, but not by much. At one point, I was getting annoyed that all of these non-family members were cutting us off in the parking lot. We’re family, what are they doing? Who do they think they are? Then we get to the cemetary, and we can’t see anything because non-family members were in the way. Then I thought about it. I’m just her cousin’s husband. I met her a handful of times. Any other person there deservded to be closer to her than I did. And if I was her I’d probably rather have other people closer than me to her at that time. I’d rather have a smattering of my friends around me than a smattering of my extended family.

Then I thought about how weird it is that we can’t choose our families. So I have these people related to me, that I have met a handful of times. I don’t even see them for holidays. But they’re part of my “family.” Then I have this mess of people around me that I care so much more about, but they’re just “friends.” Weird.

p.s. I got a job. I real one.